5 Days 'til Coachella - FRIDAY

So I spent a few hours last night until early this morning listening to / passing judgment on Friday's lineup. My goal is to have one post per day here over the next few days to help you decide what bands to see on each day. Here's my rating system:

Negative numbers are tantamount to their positive equivalents, if you're a fucking idiot.

1-3 I wouldn't cross the street to piss on this act if it was on fire
4-6 I might cross the street to spit on this act if it was implicated in a Ponzi scheme
7 I'm considering seeing this act
8 I'm hoping to see this act
9 I'm planning to see this act
10 If two of these acts are up against each other there's gonna be a fatwa called on Goldenvoice

So here we go, in (mostly) alphabetical order:

A Place To Bury Strangers - 10 - would be a 9 on Sunday, but these guys are the hope for my kinda music

Alberta Cross - 8 - Just heard something from these guys in 3/4 and I'm a sucker for a waltz.

Bajofondo - 10 - They sound like Gotan Project. Me likey

Beirut - 7 - Too much like DeVotchka from last year to really pique my interest, but if the stage show is similar, it will

Buraka Som Sistema - 3 - I mean, they sound like a lot of other shit acts from this part of the world, but probably not the worst. If I could understand the lyrics my rating might move a point in one direction, but I can't say which.

Cage the Elephant - 7 - But only because I've only heard 30 seconds of one song and Friday isn't this year's Sunday.

Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band - 8 - Because I like what this kid did with Bright Eyes, and this could be good.

Craze and Klever - 8 - Turntablism. If you like it, see these guys.

Crystal Castles - 0 - because I've got an Intellivision so I don't need to hear the soundtrack to fucking Astrosmash in the Sahara tent

Dear and the Headlights 7 - They're mellow, but could be good. Another one of these bands you have to steal to hear. Not sure they're the most logical act on Friday but it's included in the price of admission.

EL gran silencio - 6 - Hmm, a little too banda for me on first listen, but if you listen to the wrong Cafe Tacuba song you'd think the same thing. And at least they're not some group of rich white peoples' kids. And the accordion is hot.

Felix da Housecat - 7 - I'm not big on electro, but this could be good.

Franz Ferdinand - 7 - I like the message they're spreading to the kids on Ulysses, even though I've really been turned off by their live shows in the past.

Genghis Tron - 0 - pfft.

Ghostland Observatory - 6 - One good song (Sad Sad City) does not a big-font Coachella band make

Girl Talk - 7 - This could be really good or really suck. Either way, it's better than mediocrity.

Gui Boratto - 9 - Nice electronic stuff I just discovered. Chilled out stuff with a beat. When the vocals kicked in on Beautiful Life, my rating went from an eight to a nine. Sounds like New Order as a one-piece band.

Leonard Cohen - 10 - Ever since I heard Everybody Knows in the context of the film Pump Up the Volume, this guy's been my man.

Los Campesinos! - 9 - Fuck yeah. These guys sound like they're from that whole scene from Toronto where they get all the people they know who play instruments in a room to record an album, and it somehow works. OK, they sound a bit like last year's mega-bomb Architecture in Helsinki, but with a lot more energy. Hopefully they can pull off the live show to the point that I'll actually care about it.

M. Ward - 7 - Only because I've heard so much about him. I'm intrigued by what I've heard but not compelled.

Molotov - 7 - Only because they're like the Mexican 2 Live Crew. Not that I'm into that sort of thing, but it's kinda weird that a band with a song called Puto is on the lineup this year.

Morrissey - 10 - I'm hoping I'll be able to say, after I've seen him: Morrissey, You Have Killed Me!

N.A.S.A. - 8 - I like what I've checked out to a certain extent, but not sure what they'll be able to do live.

Noah and the Whale - 5 - If they weren't from the UK, would anyone give a shit?

Patton & Rahzel - 9 - Oh shit, Mike Patton is back. Last time I saw him at Coachella was with Fantomas. That was crazy. I think Rahzel is an MC, but I'll make an exception from the former mastermind behind Mr. Bungle and Faith No More.

Paul McCartney - 8 - I've heard his new stuff is more electronic, so that could be good. But to see him do Beatles tunes at this point would feel kinda creepy.

Peanut Butter Wolf - 7 - I'll come for the turntablism, but I'll stay if the MC sees his shadow and runs back in his hole for six more weeks of downtempo.

Silversun Pickups - 10 - Their Carnavas album is stuck in my CD player. I can't seem to want to get it out.

The Crystal Method - 8 - Saw them on the night of the only time I've ever been fired. Keep Hope Alive played on my car stereo as I drove away from the corporate megafucks who set me free.

The Airborne Toxic Event - 5 - A little too light for me for Coachella, but I might give them a chance.

The Bug featuring Warrior Queen - MINUS 100000 - My pants actually come up to my waist, so fuck these guys.

The Presets - 4 - Meh.

The Ting Tings - 6 - OK, so I really liked a remix of Shut Up And Let Me Go I heard at the gym, but I wasn't so big on some other stuff I heard from them, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Nothing I'm dying for but they could be decent.

White Lies - 8 - I've only heard a little bit from these guys, but they could be pretty good. Definitely dark, still poppy, like a modern Echo and the Bunnymen but with a better vocalist.

The Aggrolites - 1 - If you're high and you don't care what music sounds like, these guys are for you. White reggae. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhh...

People Under the Stairs - 4 - Hip-hop, but not bad for what it is. Plus, I think they might be more than the sum of their parts. Still, I'm not excited.

The Hold Steady - 6 - Sounds like Shane from The Pogues trying to cover Bruce Springsteen.

Ryan Bingham - 4 - While not untalented, I'm not really stoked on the dude who owns the venue trying to push his shitkicker agenda on us.

If I didn't have a goddamn day job I'd have time to review these guys tonight too:

Steve Aoki
Switch
The Black Keys
The Courteeners
The Hold Steady
We Are Scientists